A Month of Firsts and Fragility

My first set of irises in the backyard. These babes have proliferated and given our house such beauty for this month.

Ahh, whenever the month of May rolls around, my senses get laser-focused on the abundance of colors and shapes all over the landscapes. There is no shortage of blooms this month. I'm letting you catch a glimpse of the first irises in my garden, not to mention the 'century' plant showcasing its asparagus-like gigantic spear that always means the end of an era. We have two large agave plants in our backyard, and both are going crazy with the 30-foot-tall appendage that juts out of their center whenever the succulent is ready to die.

But, having these gorgeous spiny beasts grow such a majestic thing means it is a first for us. Greg has lived in this house for 30 years and has never seen them bloom. I showed up almost four years ago, and voila, instant bloom! Ha, I'd like to think I manifested these babes, but that's only patting myself on the back for transforming his original home into one of color and texture. Yeah, I did that...tee hee.

What else? Well, Mom is now being cared for 24/7 in an assisted living 'sweet' home in Arizona. At first, it was tough for her. She couldn't fathom being too far away from her grown children, however, my brother lives only a mile away, and he visits often. She's had many visitors since she's been in her new place. A mini-horse, little dogs that roam the hall, my other brother from Los Gatos, CA, and plenty of flowers from outsiders. We'd never imagine this day would come for Mom, so you could say this is a BIG 'first' for us all. I wish I could share that she was happy and content, but it's not the case. Does any parent want to end up in an assisted living facility? I doubt it.

My heart was torn for a few weeks, knowing she was in a strange place and not able to make her own decisions. I have never been in charge of her fate, and yet, these were the moments when I wanted to fly out to Arizona and take over. Together, Mom and I were in such a state of sadness. We'd cry together on the phone. I'd end up calling my oldest brother and venting to him. It may take some time for her to get super comfortable with these changes, but it's nothing short of bittersweet as a first situation.

Another first happened in my garden. As I mentioned earlier in this sharing of mine, I have to show you.

Check this puppy out! She's since grown about another five feet or so! When I snapped the pic, Greg and I had no idea the magnitude of her presence. Yet now, she's taller, more majestic, and beginning to flower.

Isn't nature amazing! Once the century plant is done spreading her wings, we'll have to remove her, as the ultimate death is but another sign of firsts and new beginnings, not to mention endings.

More first things include Greg reaching an age milestone this month, Wizard being seizure-free for six consecutive months, my not needing to travel anywhere to 'get away' from it all, my acceptance of everything in the moment as it's happening, and being social media-free (Facebook, LinkedIn, Next Door) for around three consecutive months. Granted, I participate in Instagram, but that is a first for me! The platform is actually under Wizard's name, with my highlighting all his moments of grandeur. I'm having such fun with it, too.

Then life is fragile. Fragile times are the understanding of us getting older. However, we have child-like hearts in our household, so the notion of achy bones, sore muscles, and more time to recover after a hard workout tends to become the topic of conversation. I do love having the wisdom, though, of living through challenges and obstacles during my 40s and 50s. Being in our 60s shows me and Greg just how much we've learned--as a couple and as solo humans.

So now here we are. In the latter weeks of May, marching towards Memorial weekend and a host of firsts AND fragility. I feel rather honored to be part of this life, in all of its forms. From the hard stuff to the happy stuff. I also feel immensely grateful to my readers here and my family, and my friends. Sometimes, we fade in and out of each other's lives, and yet, we always come back to what matters. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

May you have a beautiful and abundant month. May all of your dreams and shifts and epic moments take shape and hold forever. May all of you May-ness be full of firsts. That's the goodness we all strive for and hope to achieve.

Until next month and Wizard turning TWO YEARS YOUNG!! Wow, where does the time go...

Lots of love and awesome health,

Gerry Ellen xoxo